Today

There are days when you just want to drink. Today was very much one of those days.

I'm tired of answering questions. How are you doing? When will be be back? Oh so he's getting out for good right? Oh I didn't know you were married.

Days like today I want to be alone, well I dont really want to be alone, I just want to be LEFT alone. I want a hug. Did you know I will have gone with out a propper hug just for no reason for six months now.

God I'm not that kind of person. I'm not the pitty me my life is so horrible person. I live a good life. I really do. I'm so much better then that. I just miss intemacy. The just woke up and see your love and smile. Or the look that that person has when they are just truely happy. Or you are truely happy. You never thing getting married would turn out like this. Never think it was so stinking hard. Life is tough today.

I took a drink which made me feel worse. The party made me feel worse, eating makes me feel worse. I'm void, I'm lost in a sea of questions. Never do I question my feelings or my actions. But those around me question, they bring up what I try so hard to subdue. I don't want to think about how much I miss him, or how hard it is to wonder all the time. You think you will spend the rest of your life with someone by your side, not over there. I miss him, I miss his kisses I miss the snoring and the insta-heater that always has cold feet.