The best silence

I spoke with SW yesterday afternoon. It was a short call less then 30 minutes. His plane has been postponed so he's flying out later then he though...said it was probably like 12 hours later. It works well for our plans but I'm super excited for his homecoming. I'm kind of nervous for it too. I got like this when he was at NTC too. We work well together though. The house is so different from when he left. I mean that's obvious just because he left 10 days after we got into it. I know that he'll be slightly shocked with the changed. They aren't that much in my end of things its just that with the small change it makes a big difference. I did though not do anything I wasn't supposed to when he was gone. I didn't buy any baby stuff for us. I bought baby things for other people but not me! I'm proud because it was pretty hard. If the BM goes well I will actually be very tempted for the remaining deployment.





So my parents who have been staying here since SW has been gone are supposed to be moving out...thank the lord! I'm slightly over the shared space concept. I'd like my house and freedom back. I feel like I can't do anything I want when they are here. I end up in my bedroom on the lap top watching TV. Right now I'd love to be cleaning the house because my husband can't know just how sloppy I am. That's kinda a joke but really I should clean. Its more my bathroom. Its kinda sticky...so that sounds kind of gross but its only from the spray I put in my hair. It gets on the counters and then makes it sticky. So that needs to be wiped down. I also need to vacuum and magic mop the down stairs floor. My parents are supposed to be out on Tuesday so I don't want to mop tomorrow. I will however vacuum and clean my bathroom tomorrow, or tonight, I haven't decided yet. I'm thinking since its already 11 it may be a chore I do tomorrow. I'm also supposed to go shopping tomorrow with friends. Its not really even something I want to do any more. My friend K had a flipping bitch fest about me going shopping last week on Thursday with someone else even though we had plans to go tomorrow. It's like a freaking child to say you don't want me shopping with someone else. I was very open to going shopping with her tomorrow but her comment was slightly rude. Sometimes I feel like its a friendship of convenience not a true one. If you call only when you want something its annoying. She and R were supposed to go to LV with SW and I but they have bailed again. I'm to the point where I feel like SW and I need new couple friends. I mean single folks are OK but couple people are hard to find. I want double dates and stuff. I feel like we don't have people like that. Wait that's not true I have CB and AD but then I've never met AD. CB is awesome though. We have good times.



Its hard to grow up. I feel like a kid, like I've regressed. My freedoms are around so much but are limited at the same time. Friendships are never standing strong. I feel like its all selfish and never selfless. Maybe I think of myself to highly but I am feeling my friends are not giving up anything when I put forth so much. I would never ask for anything that I wouldn't do in return but lately it seems like my financial freedom has started to come in between my friends. I want to do things, they have no money...when I had none, no one ever offered to pitch in and help. I think I'm going to go back to the cheap ways I used too. Like today I bought a 4 year old diamond earrings...maybe I'm doing to much. Maybe I need to only spend on me. I'm tired of this one way street of hell..



SW needs to get to the phone soon...its good to know that the silence is because of him flying home but man that's the biggest issue I have in the deployment. When I need to speak with him I can't just pick up a phone and dial a number. I have to remember what I want to say when he calls...then I don't want to bitch to him because I get 30 minutes and I'm not going to spend that time whining.



Come home soon SW your wife needs you!